tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post5288555919492943928..comments2024-01-19T19:28:16.564-08:00Comments on ScientistMother: raising my own little experimentS: How sexism leads to bad medical care.ScientistMotherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02540317551396323613noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-25829442619532828502010-10-25T10:39:55.884-07:002010-10-25T10:39:55.884-07:00Chall - a lot of my anger / frustration is that I ...Chall - a lot of my anger / frustration is that I did not respond like you. Meek, obedient person took over. I wish to God that I didn't do that. I wish I had ripped the dr's a new one...but hindsight is 20/20.<br /><br />Anon - this post wasn't about just me. Others are also being treated the same way, just look at Chall's comment. Sexism hurts not just women, they hurt whole ScientistMotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02540317551396323613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-81382215837275118392010-10-23T09:54:37.549-07:002010-10-23T09:54:37.549-07:00i'm sorry and outraged on your behalf. while i...i'm sorry and outraged on your behalf. while i've never experienced sexism in quite this awful a manner. i've been a lurker for a while, so i thought that maybe it was time for me to comment and express my condolences.girlvslaser@tumblrhttp://girlvslaser.tumblr.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-66443749116064710662010-10-20T12:32:28.861-07:002010-10-20T12:32:28.861-07:00Glad to read that you and Mr. SM are doing better,...Glad to read that you and Mr. SM are doing better, but I am really sorry that your experience with your GF's care was so awful. I am glad that you found a good place, with good information in the end, but I agree with you that it is too bad he couldn't have stayed in the place that was close to his family.microbiologist xxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07578078880223116616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-73867178679028816802010-10-16T10:16:35.289-07:002010-10-16T10:16:35.289-07:00I am sorry about the fallout SM. These sorts of t...I am sorry about the fallout SM. These sorts of things always have repercussions on our healing. For me, what has worked, is starting with forgiveness. It doesn't mean forgetting what has happened, and its not for them that you're doing it, it's more for you. Have a little kindness for yourself.<br /><br />I had the complete opposite experience. And I wonder if it was because theunknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05949487275042211766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-20205205456534612722010-10-15T21:56:53.980-07:002010-10-15T21:56:53.980-07:00Ooooh, you touched one of my sore spots--doctors a...Ooooh, you touched one of my sore spots--doctors and other medical professionals who talk down to me like I'm 4 years old. It drives me crazy to put up with this during a routine medical exam; I can't even begin to imagine how much worse it would be when someone's life was on the line.<br /><br />I'm terribly sorry that you had to go through this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-79547702415214663362010-10-15T19:32:29.362-07:002010-10-15T19:32:29.362-07:00I'm so sorry that you and your family had to g...I'm so sorry that you and your family had to go through all this. Sometimes doctors are just... yes... assholes. (I live with one, and the stories he tells me of what he's seen in the hospital...)<br /><br />But as others have said, I'm so glad to hear that you and Mr. SM are doing better. It sounds like you really needed this healing time away, and I'm glad you are getting it.The bean-momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00411250616280191525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-77679321514142122942010-10-15T10:54:34.156-07:002010-10-15T10:54:34.156-07:00Wow - I knew there had been some communication iss...Wow - I knew there had been some communication issues with the doctors at the hospital, but I didn't realise how bad it had been. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. <br /><br />On the other hand, it's great to hear that you and the mister are doing better. Good luck and enjoy the rest of your vacation!Cath@VWXYNot?https://www.blogger.com/profile/01164268321173313605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-89393099854143798862010-10-15T10:13:53.032-07:002010-10-15T10:13:53.032-07:00Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for your loss.Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for your loss.drdrAhttp://bluelabcoats.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-79182833933593343672010-10-15T06:41:27.502-07:002010-10-15T06:41:27.502-07:00I am so sorry. It's incredibly frustrating to ...I am so sorry. It's incredibly frustrating to not be told things because of your age/gender. I've gotten furious with medical practitioners who do not explain things properly to my mother about her mother (my grandmother) and those aren't even about major medical decisions. So, it must be (approximately) 1000x more infuriating for major medical decisions. <br /><br />On another note,Amanda@Lady Scientisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16512722132229479239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-35003964284662992252010-10-14T22:07:42.259-07:002010-10-14T22:07:42.259-07:00Not to sound trite and "church lady"-ish...Not to sound trite and "church lady"-ish, because obviously it is still all very much with you, but it's in the past now. You did the best you could under the circumstances, however insulting and dehumanizing as they were for your grandfather and your family as a whole. You have the future to look forward to, and a warm house and a loving family to return to. Count your blessingsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-32619966333652104142010-10-14T19:59:42.714-07:002010-10-14T19:59:42.714-07:00SM: I am so sorry for your loss and all of this th...SM: I am so sorry for your loss and all of this that lead up to it. You're right, the first doctor should've explained it better - and given you (all of you) the chance to understand and make the decision.<br /><br />I went through a similar thing with my grandmother. A doctor who told me, after I took him to another room not in front of my mother and her sister, that he needed to tell mechallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10421219663804628119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-57642081211292860842010-10-14T19:28:33.330-07:002010-10-14T19:28:33.330-07:00MM/Post-doc - thank you for the well wishes. We ar...MM/Post-doc - thank you for the well wishes. We are slowly healing from the whole ordeal. What I can't over is the overt BS I dealt with bc of my gender / age. The initial doctor could've saved us so much heartach, stress and confusion if he was open, honest and gave us the power to make the decisions. He didn't do that. He decided to do the surgery. Period. No explanations, no ScientistMotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02540317551396323613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-81300454761159684192010-10-14T19:12:23.014-07:002010-10-14T19:12:23.014-07:00I'm very sorry for your loss. I've been a...I'm very sorry for your loss. I've been an advocate for my mother - it's been a couple of years now and all ended well - but I can remember the overwhelming frustration when I didn't have enough information and the fury when painful decisions were made with poor information. I'm so sorry you had this experience and hope you and your family heal as you move through the post-dochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06493309260165352484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-97947582899206598.post-37310846713326318542010-10-14T18:53:08.777-07:002010-10-14T18:53:08.777-07:00I am so sorry. I was there the two years before my...I am so sorry. I was there the two years before my grandparents both died, not working at the time as a SAHM, and I totally understand those decisions and information left out and anger and overwhelm and grief. <br /><br />I am glad you are getting loved while grieving.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.com