And you would be??

I have been wondering about who my readers are for the last week or two, so the relaunching of the who are you? meme at DM's place is kinda fortuitous. I think I am a science blog, so I'm considering myself tagged. I do science, but I tend to focus more on the monkey than anything else...

So who are you? Why do you read? Great to meet you!

Oh why hello officer! How are you today?

Actually that is not how I greeted them. Yes, two RCMP officers showed up at my doorstep this evening. I saw them approaching as I was sitting at my kitchen table. They appeared to be doing a walk around my house, which of course freaked me right out so I jumped up and ran to the door swinging it open, asking OMG why are you here? What is going on???

Which in hindsight probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. I mean seriously folk, if the cops are poking around the outside of your house and you didn't call them, perhaps you may want to stay inside.

Luckily they were just checking to make sure everything was OK, cuz you know the 911 call followed by a hang up and no answer when they called back. Kinda makes the police nervous.

Yep, I'm one of those parents. Yes I begged forgiveness. Yes please come in my house, look all over. Yes its a mess. Yes I have a screaming, damn it I will be independent 2.5 year old. Gosh no, I'm not sending him outside in the rain barefoot and pantless, that would be bad parenting.***

To be honest I am a bit confused because I swear I did not hear a phone ring, nor was the phone actually on when I found the boy with it. But sure enough, there were THREE missed calls. Guess the monkeys screaming was louder than the phone. Or perhaps I was distracted by overflowing kitchen sink? How does a sink fill that quickly? and how does a barely 2.5 year old figure out how to plug the sink, in less than 5 minutes? Or maybe it was the the pee all over the kitchen floor that made me miss the call? or the fact that I was cleaning poopy underwear and pants? How did the poo get all over the inside of the pants if he was wearing underwear???? Did I mention I was trying to make dinner at the same time?

I am sorry RCMP. I know better. You have way more important things to be doing then having to come make sure I am safe. Plus it took you away from people who actually need your help...my bad.

***Well yes I was sending him outside in the rain in nothing but a shirt and diapers. However his dad had just come home, seen the two officers and ran into the yard to find out what was happening. Guess he's not too smart either. Anyhoo, once Mr.SM saw that I and the monkey were OK, he went back to his vehicle to get his things. Which is just when the monkey came to the front door. Well seeing his dad walking away initiated a cry for daddy and I really just wanted to deal with the cops so I said "go follow daddy, it OK". After which the RCMP Officer looked at me and said "its kinda of wet out here". Oops...

because a little rain really hurts...

An open letter to monkey

My dearest little demon.

I love you. I really do. And for once I am actually happy you didn't listen to me. Had you actually listened to me, we wouldn't be having as much fun as we are. I totally dig listening to you tell me about your day. How you fell over the bike. Or how you need the yogurt bar or you need this. You really are a riot. The way you stop at the sound of siren and whisper, with you hands up in the air, police car. Even when you scream for your daddy because I won't let you have your way, I love you. Really though, do you think you're going to when the battle of wills? I am your mother. Although, I'll never admit to another human being, where do you think you get that determination from? Your mama ain't no push over.

But lets focus on the fun bits. What a little personality you have! I love how you tip your head to the side when you're asking for something you know you're not allowed to have. How have you learned so soon in life that a tip of your head and a bat of those eyes will get you far? You've managed to wrap daddy around you little finger with that little maneuver. It is amazing how such a little package can turn your dad to mush. Underneath his gruff exterior, I knew your daddy was a softy, but really you've turned him into a pile feathers. You really do own him. He can't stand to see you cry. Which in part makes me love him and in part aggravates me to no end. Maybe that is why you've become daddys' little boy. Its him you want at bedtime, him that you want to stay with on the weekends. I admit I'm a tad jealous, but seeing the two of you lying together on the couch, really makes me a happy lady. It reminds that really it is just science.

I know now that you have to keep growing. Fair enough, I know with every stage I will love you more. I know you want to be independent (damn those genetics), how about we a deal. You cut down on those 15 minute temper tantrums and I won't suffocate you with hugs and kisses? Actually, you know I can't stop doing that. I love you too much. How about you just cut down on those temper tantrums?

Rest in Peace MJ!

He has alot of controversy around him but I can't remember a time when I didn't listen to Micheal Jackson. I was shocked.

He had a crazy life, today we've lost a amazingly talented musician and a whole lot of crazy as well.

Animals are NOT your children

I went to our local HomeDepot yesterday to get some non-toxic pest repellent. Two annoying raccoons have started rolling up our new sod looking for food. Since I was up at 6am rolling out that sod and forked out >$200 for it, I'm a tad protective of it. While I was roaming the aisles, I had to save monkey from a dog. A HomeDepot employee then informed the owner that the dog had to be on a leash.

I am may be on the fringe here, but why the fuck are you bringing your dog to HomeDepot?? While fuming about stupid urbanites and their infantization of dogs, I started thinking about Dr.J's stand on the use of cats and dogs in research. I started thinking about DogTown. And then I got angry.

I'm pissed at both Dr. J and the rest of the urbanites (its mostly urbanites that hold this opinion on pets) that cats and dogs are some how equivalent to children or humans. They are NOT. I love dogs. Between Mr.SM and I, we have owned 3 dogs. We loved them. I still expect to see my rotti X every time I go to my parents. I treat my dogs well. I wash, brush, feed and walk them. I do not dress them up. I do not take them out with me everywhere I go. I keep them outside - where they belong.

Unlike many claim, dogs and cats were not domesticated to be our companions. They were domesticated because they had jobs to do. Cats caught the mice and rats, dogs assisted in huge variety of farming / hunting chores. Why do you thinks they have herding, retrieving, pointing tendencies? Why do think they are classified as water dogs or sled dogs?

This is not to say that animals should not be respected or cared for, but we really have to remember they are animals. They do not have emotions the way we do. As nicely stated in Life of Pi, we have disneyified our animals. We have given them human emotions that they just do not possess.

Dr. J stated of cats: They have a superior intellect, they reason, they feel, they love, they care

Sure they have superior intellect, but they do not reason or love or care. If they reasoned, loved and cared the ferrel cats my colleague rescured 10 years ago would not be ferrel still. It is so aggravating for me, when I see people treating animals better than they do humans. Or when when someon claims that the animal is equilivalent to children. HELL NO! Again, I'm not saying to be callous, cruel or inhumane. Can we remember that they are animals?

Dr.J compared a cat to a baby, which always pisses me off. Cats and dogs are not dependent on us like a baby. You can't just come home late and take the baby out later like you can with a dog. If you get drunk the night before, you can't just sleep in and take the baby out later. Their are HUGE difference between having a cat or a dog and having a baby.

Urgh!!!

I have no idea why I am so irritated with the fact that my mom is giving my son a bath. Its probably because I do not like my mother. I love her because she is my mom, but I do not like her. She annoys me on so many levels, and I find she is very jealous of everything related to my son. She does not respect boundaries. She did not ask, my dad just told her to go do it.
I don't know why its pissing me off. Probably because I haven't spent any time with him today and he was more excited to see her than he was me. Totally being stupid. I know.

The Pandora's Box of Sharing..

We have successfully ingrained into our little monkey that certain items are off limits to him. Mommy computer is mommys'. Daddys computer is daddys'. Ditto for Mommys and Daddys' phone. But now what do we do??

Scene: Mr and Mrs.SM have spent all day (literally since 6am) fixing the yard. Awesome BIL has been at our house since about 9:30am assisting in repairing the yard and making it child safe. We are tired. BIL et all come in at 9pm. BIL sits down and opens up Daddys' computer. Suddenly monkey is running in from the otherside of the house

Monkey: No!NO! NO! ChaCHA! (punjabi for Dads younger brother) daddy puter daddy puter!
SM: its okay sweetheart, daddy is sharing his computer.
Monkey wide-eyed and bushytailed, looks up with big brown eyes and says very very sweetily: my turn??

Mr and Mrs. SM think to themselves OH SHIT!