Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

Hope everyone is doing what they want. Wishing all my readers a great year!

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009


You woke my kid up. I needed another 30 minutes of no child time. FUCK you for calling me when I"m on the NO CALL LIST!

Fashion - a dysfuntional something.

Warning this is going to be rambling, getting back into the feminist fray type post.

I have ALOT of things going on in my little head. They all relate to fashion and its impact on us XX chromosome carriers. These thoughts have to do with a series of incidents over the last little while. I will just list them in bullet format as I think they illustrate my inner conflict quite well.

  • I have stated somewhere in my archives that I think of myself as pretty. I'm pretty damn hot if I do say so myself. However, I am physically lacking in certain areas - I'm no DD cup size. This used to bother me, but not so much now. I'm happy with my body and my cup size. That's not to say having a small cup isn't annoying. Certain styles of clothing just don't look good or adjustments must be made because dress makers think that a person with a 26" waist totes has HUGE knockers. During awesome BIL's wedding, a cousin remarked that a particular lingerie shop carried awesome push up / padded bras. Without thinking I remarked that wearing padded / push up bras was against my feminist beliefs. EVERYONE was like WTF?? I think this whole idea that you must have cleavage to be attractive is bullshit and I don't give a rats ass to spend triple the amount on a bra just to let people think I have huge boobs. I don't. I am happy with my boobs, so is monkey and so is his dad. Yes monkey likes my boobs, they did fed him for over a year.
  • While christmas shopping for my niece, I totally annoyed the sales lady because I refused to by mix and match fashion type toys for my not yet 4 year old niece. Nor did I want to buy a kit that allowed her to make different types of lip gloss. Nor did I want to be shown anything remotely makeup / fashion typy. Why the fuck does a NOT YET FOUR year-old need to worry about make-up and clothes? I'm not saying I didn't love to dress up my barbie, I did. I was EIGHT!!!. Right now, all she needs to do is play with stuff that makes her creative, teaches her to ask questions, peaks her curiosity and imagination. NOT fucking CLOTHES! FYI she cared more about monkeys trucks on Christmas day than anything else. She made her aunty proud!
  • I was at swimming with awesome inspiring friend when I told her she inspires me to not give a shit about what I look like. Which really came out like I was implying she looks like crap, which is totally not what I meant (I know you know that JV!) My friend JV is a total surfer girl who put very little effort into fashion or makeup. She places more importance on who she is than what she looks like. I love that. I think a big part of my emphasis on looking good had to do with my inappriopriately placed emphasis on judging someone on their appearances. Putting greater emphasis on what they looked like instead of who they were. Consequently, I put emphasis on my appearance because I felt that was how I was being judged. JV really has changed me to a more balanced emphasis, I care more about who I am and who my friends are then what I or they look like.
  • I watched Legally Blond 2. I love Reese Witherspoon and the message that she is sending about not judging someone because they like fashion. Yet in the movie, she would make-over the not into fashion smart girls so they could catch a man. Again emphasizing that how a woman looks is more important than who she is. Whether you're the pretty one or not you get judged on looks. Basically I felt the movie was saying you have to look pretty, even if you're smart, too get noticed. But hold on, don't look too pretty because then you can't be smart. WTF!!!
  • Then I read the latest F-word blog post and Isis's latest post.To which I say I fucking hate fashion!!!!! and the color pink

I'm torn because I love fashion and I have to admit I had a love affair with pink. Yet I don't want my niece to be a slave to it. I'm torn because the idea that I shouldn't be judged because I am into fashion is an OK message to send but the idea that fashion doesn't matter is considered insane. In Legally Blond 2, smart lawyer wasn't noticed until she was made up, there is more pressure on moms' to lose that baby fat and be MILF because some how mothers are not inately not fuckable. Oxymoron since obviously I'm fuckable since I've fucked to have kids.

The idea that something has to be girly to attract girls drives me batshit crazy. Don't worry you can be sexy AND smart because you know, being sexy is way more important. NO! NO! NO! or that you can be SMART and sexy because you know whats the point in being smart if you're not sexy.

Yet the idea that being girly is somehow negative also annoys me. What is wrong with being a girl? Why is being girly such a derogatory remark? Being boyish isn't considered a bad thing. Which is when I realize that its the FUCKING JUDGEMENTS that piss me off. Its the emphasis on the appearances and image as apposed to who were are that is wrong. I love fashion because it allows me freedom to express who I am. I hate fashion because it put emphasis where it shouldn't be. I wonder if we put more emphasis on who are, like my friend JV, would we as a society have a better understanding of the complexity of people? would we finally realize that you can not label someone girly or not girly because those labels only touch a fragment of who someone is?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays!

It feels like its been FOREVER since I last posted, but according to blogger it was only 10 days. Yet 10 days in the blogosphere does feel like forever, especially since I have not been posting with any sort of regularity.

I'm taking some inspiration from DrdrA and will attempt a year in review, christmas lettery type thingy.

The year started off pretty stressful with Monkey starting daycare on-campus. Our campus daycare has a very good repuation, easily in top 5 daycares of our province, but monkeys first daycare was at the other Universities daycare and its the BEST. It is the Royals Royce of the daycares for Western Canada. On top of having go from that to a Mercedes Benz / Beamer type daycare it was also a pilot project. Instead of separating kids under 18 months, 1-3 years and 3-6 years, they have them grouped 18 months - 6 years. The pros of this are obvious in that sibling can stay together, less pressure for potty training, greater ability for youngers ones to be exposed to slighty higher skill sets. This last one is really great if you have an advanced kid, they can easily move up in their play / learning abilities. The other benefit is that for kids over 3, its a better adult to kid ratio. In traditional 3-6 groupings the ratio is 1:8, whereas now its 1:6. The con is that the younger ones can get lost in the shuffle as they would traditionally be in a smaller setting with a 1;4 ratio.

I have to say that the transition was hard for a number of reasons. Monkey was used to his original place and loved the kids. He had friends and had a hard time adjusting to the new center, but this would've happened regardless in that he would be moving into a new place when he turned 3. I had a hard time adjusting to all new kids, parents, care givers. Completely different system ie I had to bring in Monkeys food and diapers and take back the dirty laundry (Old daycare provided cloth diapers, all food AND did the laundry (except toilet training laundry -- Royals Royce I tell ya!)). Then the caregivers themselves were trying to figure out how this new grouping was going to work. How to work with each other as they had not worked together previously. Plus they had to figure out all the kids personalities and the parents. There were no systems in place, it really was trial by fire.
Eventually it worked out and monkeys is happy. Although the other place was awesome and had perks like being close to home. Having monkey with me on campus gives me flexibility in terms of after work life and gets me to work sooner.

Lab life is OK. I started the year with a committee meeting and a project idea. The project has hope, but between microscopes not working, Ab's fucking up and TAing my progress has not been as fast as I would like. Our awesome Lab Manager thinks I'm doing OK but I was really hoping to have more solid data by now. Being at the preliminary stage is really really frustrating. However, I am happy to report that lab life is OK because I am not moving fast enough. Not because of lab politics or crazy PI's. My PI is pretty freaking awesome. I LOVE her. My labmates are all pretty cool too. I enjoy going to work. If I didn't have to make an awesome crab bisque* and stuffed mushroom caps for Christmas Eve dinner, I totes would've been there today.

On the personal side things are at a steady state too. Which I am happy about. Mr.SM is back to being around and we've readjusted to living with each other. We both get stressed with the sheer volume of work we have between monkey, our careers and the house, such that we sometimes forget to be affectionate or appreciative of one another. We're working on it. Carpooling is helping with that. He's down in the office working on some analysis and I'm sitting in front of the Christmas tree, enjoying our house. We were up until 12am putting together the firetruck, so its nice to chill before the craziness that will be my parents house tonight.

Monkey is well a monkey. You've all heard lots about him and I need to save up stuff for his birthday post. He is very excited about Santa Claus and Reindeer this year which is fun to watch. And I let him help with the Christmas Tree decorations. Y'all are probably not aware of my anal retentive, must have perfectly decorated with gorgeous ornaments such that my tree looks like something out of a Marth Stewart Magazine tendencies. My husband and friends, however are. They were shocked that I let monkey help. Let me tell you it was HARD. I may or may not have re-arranged things after he slept. I will never tell.

The last semester has been go go go go, with the wedding, TAing and then Christmas preparations. The 30 minutes its taken me to type this, while drinking my chai, has probably been the first time I have been able to sit and just "aahhh" for the last month. I'm not going to bother saying I going to try and post more often as that would indicate that I don't try right now. I do think about, I just don't have time to get to a computer and sit. I'm thinking I should just start twittering. What do you think dear reader? would you follow me?

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Season's Greetings!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I'm the best mom EVER!

Not to toot my own horn, but I just purchased this for the monkey as a christmas gift. I rock! However, I did not buy it from Amazon because they suck.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Canadian Christmas Music

A friend of friend is in the this band. Since everyone else always posts you tube videos of cool music, I figured I would too!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wishing ScienceWomen well

Alice and ScienceWomen are closing shop. Although its a sad day for us in the blogosphere, I'm choosing to look at this as a lab mate moving on. Of course I'm sad they're gone and sad that I won't see them everyday. That sadness is tempered by my happiness for them. Its sounds like SciWo and Alice are in good places and are happy with where life is taking them. I wish them well in their lives and I hope you will go over and do the same.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I remember

On friday I had a call, as part of the women in science volunteer work I do, from a TV station on the other side of the country. They were looking for someone to do a post on Women in Science discussing challenges, change and the work that needs to be done. It was a mostly positive phone chat about how things have improved. When I hung up, CBC radio was playing a documentary on Polytechnique. It was an interesting juxtaposion for me. All I thought was not far enough. Not fast enough.

I remember.

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