Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Lazy summer days?

This is the first time I've been able to get it together for Scientiae, which I think is a tres awesome carnival. This month's carnival is being hosted by Abel Pharmboy and he's wondering whether summer is just another season for us or whether we're actually able to get outside and enjoy it.

This brings me to a confession, I'm starting to hate summer. It never used to be like this. Summer used to be my favourite time of year. I love camping, hanging out on the beach and just kicking back. However, since I've married, summer is slowly becoming the worst time of year. Why? Mr.SM is still involved with his family's business and summer is the crunch time. He is working almost 24-7. At least 3-4 times during the week, he goes straight to his parents after he's put in a full days work and he's gone all weekend as well. Most weekends he tries to take the monkey with him as he misses his son, but during certain times its just not feasible. With the mister gone so often, I'm in single mom mode. Which is fine, but now monkey is at an age where (a) he misses his dad (b) he misses his dad. He doesn't always understand why Daddy's not home.

Now I have to say the mister is really good at trying to balance. He always tries to get home before monkeys bed time and 9 out of 1o he does. He spends time with him in the mornings etc. Plus he's takes time on weekends to have a nice breakfast and coffee with us. But I miss him. And I miss doing the summer time type things like camping and hanging out at the beach. Yes I take the little one out to do it on my own, like many single moms out there. But I get tired and then I get cranky.

It is hard on our marriage and with a little one running around, its made it that much harder. Part of the reason its hard is that Mr.SM wasn't that involved when we met, while we were dating or even after we were married. He was very ambivalent about his involvement and I (sometimes I think stupidly) encouraged him to stay involved with something that was such a big of his life for so long. Now the business has grown much bigger than I ever imagined it would, yet not big enough to support us. He works so hard and gets little in return except for family appreciation and the enjoyment he gets out of working with his brothers.

I know I did the right thing by encouraging him to stay involved. I see how much it has improved his relationship with the siblings he wasn't close with and strengthened the relationships with the siblings he was close to. That is huge. You can not put a price on that. Its just hard. I want to be put first.

Oh well. Such is life. I think I'm just crankier then usual because our microscope has been down for over 2 months. Its crazy hot outside and I'm not moving as far forward with data collection as I had hoped. Troubleshooting seems to be never ending. I finally get one western working, then the second band I need to stain for doesn't work....I know this is science. This is how it works. I'm just tired. I need to study for comps and I miss my husband. Aaah lazy summer days.

I need some happiness:

  • We have a beautiful new backyard and those damn raccoons have be vanquished!.
  • We have a pair of awesome Adirondack chairs that are super comfy to sit in with a nice glass of wine.
  • We have a wicked garden, a beautiful house and an awesome little boy. (who escaped from daycare....)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Marking Purgatory

I am marking again. I need a break, so perhaps maybe you do as well? Well if you're at all geeky you'll appreciate this. I did.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Go Read and then link to Mrs.Spit

Especially if you're American. She has it down pat. DOWN PAT I tell you. And as always, she does it so articulately.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Breath in, Breath out, Breath in, Breath out

I have to remember that. Getting mad at monkey does NOT help with potty training. Its just OM FUCKING GOD frustrating. I just put you the toilet, like literally you just got off, I was digging for your clean underpants in the just washed basket and you let it rip onto the living room. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I asked you to push for pee.

Banging head against the wall.

Breath in, Breath out. Breath in, Breath out.

You can figure out how to unlock my iphone but the whole potty in toilet you can't?? WTF?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Blinded by the whiteness of it all

This week I asked readers to “delurk”, to give me an idea of who you are and why you read this blog. It was interesting to me that most of my readers are scienc-y types. Not all are scientists per se, but all have an interest in science, whether it be as students, post-docs, PI’s, or science-fi writers and gals just interested in science Which is cool because science is a big part of my life.

Funny enough, its not a big part of this blog. Yes I ask for help on lab things, from troubleshooting to figuring out how to manage my PDFs, but the majority of my posts are about the antics of my child. (Did any of you hear about this? I totally felt for the parents, as they have my childs' doppelganger. I had visions of monkey doing the exact same thing after reading it).

Yet, no one from the mommyblogging community comes here. I read the mommyblogs. They are what got me into blogs. My first readers, clicked through from comments I left on them. As I scan through comments on these blogs, it strikes me that the majority of commentors / blogger are white. When they have blogger meet-ups or talk about attending BlogHer its with they’re white friends. This is not to say that any of those bloggers in my sidebar are racists or even prejudice. Far from it, I believe them to be totally open-minded, everyone is equal, multiculturalism is awesome lefties. Yet when I read their blogs and look at the pictures they post, I can not help but think that I don’t belong. When I click through Canada Mom Blogs, I don’t see myself (as in someone that is non-white).

Which is how I feel about life in general lately. Despite living in city that is truly multicultural and where it is celebrated and embraced, when I walk into my research building. The racial diveristy that is so evident on the street stays on the street (or in the undergraduate buildings). Why has diversity stayed at the level of the street and not moved into the upper echelons? CEO’s, University administrations, professors these disciplines do not reflect the mixture of our communities.

Nor does the blogosphere.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Last replicate, Hahahahah!!!

In support of my dear bloggy buddy, Ambivalent Academic, I will explain that 2 week absence form thy internetz (not that y'all noticed)...

How many times do I need to remake a stupid buffer before realizing that the buffer is too viscous not because I am incapable of making a 50% glycerol stock. No no, that would be too easy. It is to viscous because I am unable to calculate how many grams of NaCl I need to have 137 mM in 100ml.

That would O.8 grams not 8 grams, in case you were all wondering. Stupid freaking decimal points. That only wasted a day and half.

I then proceeded work on doing a particular IP the last time. I figured out all the issues with my western blot staining (my secondaries were no longer working). I was very diligent on the experiment.
  • I calculated the protein concentration in my lysate
  • I ensured that I took out 50 ug of protein to run in my control lane
  • I calculated / double checked all my antibody concentration to ensure that it was all optimal for the pull down
  • I ran my gel super slow to ensure nice clean bands
  • I used fresh new antibodies solutions (took abs out of aliquots that I had shown work)
Yep I was very diligent, focused and was looking foward to a nice publication quality result.

And if blogger was working properly right now, I would show you an lovely Licor western blog, nice sharp bands, beautiful specific binding. It would've have been a beautiful publication image.

Except for those damn bubbles in the transfer...grumble grumble grumble. Expletive, Expletive Expletive!

As a side note awesome PI thinks its hilarious and pointed out all the useful data we were able to get from the experiment. Which is positive. Then she told me how she had to redo a western 6 times to get it looking nice enough for publication....

stupid transfer...

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Protocol for peeing?

Monkey is in full toilet training mode. No more diapers, except at sleep time. Although it has not yet happened, what is the protocol if he pees in the middle of the store? Should I be carrying out roles of Bounty in addition to the multiple changes of pants and underwear?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

And you would be??

I have been wondering about who my readers are for the last week or two, so the relaunching of the who are you? meme at DM's place is kinda fortuitous. I think I am a science blog, so I'm considering myself tagged. I do science, but I tend to focus more on the monkey than anything else...

So who are you? Why do you read? Great to meet you!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Oh why hello officer! How are you today?

Actually that is not how I greeted them. Yes, two RCMP officers showed up at my doorstep this evening. I saw them approaching as I was sitting at my kitchen table. They appeared to be doing a walk around my house, which of course freaked me right out so I jumped up and ran to the door swinging it open, asking OMG why are you here? What is going on???

Which in hindsight probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. I mean seriously folk, if the cops are poking around the outside of your house and you didn't call them, perhaps you may want to stay inside.

Luckily they were just checking to make sure everything was OK, cuz you know the 911 call followed by a hang up and no answer when they called back. Kinda makes the police nervous.

Yep, I'm one of those parents. Yes I begged forgiveness. Yes please come in my house, look all over. Yes its a mess. Yes I have a screaming, damn it I will be independent 2.5 year old. Gosh no, I'm not sending him outside in the rain barefoot and pantless, that would be bad parenting.***

To be honest I am a bit confused because I swear I did not hear a phone ring, nor was the phone actually on when I found the boy with it. But sure enough, there were THREE missed calls. Guess the monkeys screaming was louder than the phone. Or perhaps I was distracted by overflowing kitchen sink? How does a sink fill that quickly? and how does a barely 2.5 year old figure out how to plug the sink, in less than 5 minutes? Or maybe it was the the pee all over the kitchen floor that made me miss the call? or the fact that I was cleaning poopy underwear and pants? How did the poo get all over the inside of the pants if he was wearing underwear???? Did I mention I was trying to make dinner at the same time?

I am sorry RCMP. I know better. You have way more important things to be doing then having to come make sure I am safe. Plus it took you away from people who actually need your help...my bad.

***Well yes I was sending him outside in the rain in nothing but a shirt and diapers. However his dad had just come home, seen the two officers and ran into the yard to find out what was happening. Guess he's not too smart either. Anyhoo, once Mr.SM saw that I and the monkey were OK, he went back to his vehicle to get his things. Which is just when the monkey came to the front door. Well seeing his dad walking away initiated a cry for daddy and I really just wanted to deal with the cops so I said "go follow daddy, it OK". After which the RCMP Officer looked at me and said "its kinda of wet out here". Oops...

because a little rain really hurts...

Monday, July 6, 2009

An open letter to monkey

My dearest little demon.

I love you. I really do. And for once I am actually happy you didn't listen to me. Had you actually listened to me, we wouldn't be having as much fun as we are. I totally dig listening to you tell me about your day. How you fell over the bike. Or how you need the yogurt bar or you need this. You really are a riot. The way you stop at the sound of siren and whisper, with you hands up in the air, police car. Even when you scream for your daddy because I won't let you have your way, I love you. Really though, do you think you're going to when the battle of wills? I am your mother. Although, I'll never admit to another human being, where do you think you get that determination from? Your mama ain't no push over.

But lets focus on the fun bits. What a little personality you have! I love how you tip your head to the side when you're asking for something you know you're not allowed to have. How have you learned so soon in life that a tip of your head and a bat of those eyes will get you far? You've managed to wrap daddy around you little finger with that little maneuver. It is amazing how such a little package can turn your dad to mush. Underneath his gruff exterior, I knew your daddy was a softy, but really you've turned him into a pile feathers. You really do own him. He can't stand to see you cry. Which in part makes me love him and in part aggravates me to no end. Maybe that is why you've become daddys' little boy. Its him you want at bedtime, him that you want to stay with on the weekends. I admit I'm a tad jealous, but seeing the two of you lying together on the couch, really makes me a happy lady. It reminds that really it is just science.

I know now that you have to keep growing. Fair enough, I know with every stage I will love you more. I know you want to be independent (damn those genetics), how about we a deal. You cut down on those 15 minute temper tantrums and I won't suffocate you with hugs and kisses? Actually, you know I can't stop doing that. I love you too much. How about you just cut down on those temper tantrums?