Friday, May 16, 2008

Lesson #432859 & 432860 for first-time moms

Are any of you old enough to remember the craze for tear-away track pants? They are track pants with buttons all they down both sides of the legs that let you literally tear them away. Most basketball teams and soccers teams wear them on the sidelines to keep warm and they are easily removable, again you just pull and tear them away - no shoe / cleat removal required. Well I have a pair, which I have had for years more years then I have been with Mr. SM. They are my comfort pants, my lounging pants, my I want to roll up in a ball and cry pants, my only pants I will wear after giving birth pants. In case that last sentence did not make it clear, I LOVE those the pants. I can no longer wear those pants. Lesson #432859 for first time moms - do not wear pants that are easily removable in public. Why? because while you are carry your 24+lbs son his hands or feet will said pants, pulling them so that they tear away - leaving you with the option of dropping your son and grabbing your pants or standing at the daycare in nothing but your (thankfully clean!) underpants.
Lesson #432860? Always, always hold your monkeys hand when walking - especially if its raining and you were planning on going to the gym after you picked him up. What harm is there in letting the monkey run about in a safe area? puddles. Kids are drawn to puddles like a moth to a flame (janet jackson anyone?). So unless you have a spare pair of clean pants - really that should be lesson #4 but I think Lesson # 432860 is ALWAYS have a spare pair of pants, even if you haven't used them in 4 months - you must go home to put the monkey into a dry pair.
I know girls can be a handful as well but seriously this boy is such a boy!


The bean-mom said...

Oh, these lessons are so funny! No, I don't remember those tear-away track pants (I wasn't much--and still am not--one for athletics), but that's a great mental picture of your toddler tearing at those pants...

Thanks for the laugh!

Melanie said...

OhMY! I never thought of that with tear away pants, as I don't own a pair anymore. But ... yeah. Nobody needs or wants to know what style of undies I wear!

I learned the clean pair of pants lesson quite early on, though. Nothing like sitting at a counselor's appointment that you don't feel you need, discussing bonding with your baby when ... bbbbtttthhhhhttttttt, he's flooded his and my clothing. I went home stinking. He went home in doll's clothing, borrowed from the counselor's demo-doll.

Sam said...

At least you can still wear your track pants around the house, right?!