This brings me to a confession, I'm starting to hate summer. It never used to be like this. Summer used to be my favourite time of year. I love camping, hanging out on the beach and just kicking back. However, since I've married, summer is slowly becoming the worst time of year. Why? Mr.SM is still involved with his family's business and summer is the crunch time. He is working almost 24-7. At least 3-4 times during the week, he goes straight to his parents after he's put in a full days work and he's gone all weekend as well. Most weekends he tries to take the monkey with him as he misses his son, but during certain times its just not feasible. With the mister gone so often, I'm in single mom mode. Which is fine, but now monkey is at an age where (a) he misses his dad (b) he misses his dad. He doesn't always understand why Daddy's not home.
Now I have to say the mister is really good at trying to balance. He always tries to get home before monkeys bed time and 9 out of 1o he does. He spends time with him in the mornings etc. Plus he's takes time on weekends to have a nice breakfast and coffee with us. But I miss him. And I miss doing the summer time type things like camping and hanging out at the beach. Yes I take the little one out to do it on my own, like many single moms out there. But I get tired and then I get cranky.
It is hard on our marriage and with a little one running around, its made it that much harder. Part of the reason its hard is that Mr.SM wasn't that involved when we met, while we were dating or even after we were married. He was very ambivalent about his involvement and I (sometimes I think stupidly) encouraged him to stay involved with something that was such a big of his life for so long. Now the business has grown much bigger than I ever imagined it would, yet not big enough to support us. He works so hard and gets little in return except for family appreciation and the enjoyment he gets out of working with his brothers.
I know I did the right thing by encouraging him to stay involved. I see how much it has improved his relationship with the siblings he wasn't close with and strengthened the relationships with the siblings he was close to. That is huge. You can not put a price on that. Its just hard. I want to be put first.
Oh well. Such is life. I think I'm just crankier then usual because our microscope has been down for over 2 months. Its crazy hot outside and I'm not moving as far forward with data collection as I had hoped. Troubleshooting seems to be never ending. I finally get one western working, then the second band I need to stain for doesn't work....I know this is science. This is how it works. I'm just tired. I need to study for comps and I miss my husband. Aaah lazy summer days.
I need some happiness:
- We have a beautiful new backyard and those damn raccoons have be vanquished!.
- We have a pair of awesome Adirondack chairs that are super comfy to sit in with a nice glass of wine.
- We have a wicked garden, a beautiful house and an awesome little boy. (who escaped from daycare....)