Wednesday, February 17, 2010

For ScienceGirl

Its a virtual baby shower! Woohoo! Our very own ScienceGirl is going to become a mom to a little girl. I'm so excited to have another person to talk to about poop. Yep, new parents talk alot about poop. Since monkey is already 3 and we're still talking about it, I figure it goes on for long time.

I try to not give advice to new parents, because I really hated hearing about all the things I should do. However, there are some things I wish some one did say to me so here's what I wish someone told me:

  • Go shopping. Happy mommy makes a happy baby. I was sick of my maternity clothes by the time I gave birth, but obviously did not fit into my regular clothes. I strongly believe that no one should be trying to lose in 2 months, what took 9 months to build (that tummy that housed and cared for your little bundle of joy is not going to disappear overnight - Nor should it!). I bought cheap transition clothes that let me feel like I was wearing clothes that fit me and I looked good in. Happy mommy makes a happy baby.
  • It is OK to want to throw your baby out the window. For some reason everyone thinks you're supposed to want to be with the baby all the freaking time and that suddenly you're this amazingly patient person that doesn't mind having their life run by a baby. Its frustrating and its OK to be frustrated. The problem become if you actually throw the baby out.
  • It is OK to put yourself first. Happy mommy make a happy baby.
  • It is OK not to breastfeed. I breastfed for > year and LOVED it, but I realize that some woman can not / do not want to be attached that way. Its OK. Do what is best for you. Happy Mommy makes a happy baby.

You might be noticing a theme here, Happy Mommy = Happy Baby. I encourage you to do what makes you happy, both mentally and physically. There is so much pressure on woman these days to be the perfect mom, to do this for your baby because OMG if you don't you're ruining their life. In my short time as a mom, I've realized that when I'm not mentally or physically happy its the jumping off point for monkey to be unhappy. So yeah, maybe monkey is going to be in daycare for one more hour so that I can get a mental break, but I will be a better mom because of that break.

I wish you so much happiness and health. Congratulations!


Alyssa said...

Fantastic post, SM! I think you gave really great advice :)

Anonymous said...

You sound like a really good and well-balanced mom, so pat yourself on the back, too!

ScienceGirl said...

SM, thank you for your refreshing advice! I have heard much about what I "must do" to be a good mom, and it is great to hear for a change that I need to take care of myself as well. And it makes sense - an unhappy, worn out mom cannot be as patient and loving as a mom who has taken some time to herself. I will try to keep it in mind, handing off the little one to Hubby for some quality daughter-daddy time, and taking care of myself.

And when I find myself worn out and stressed, I will come back to re-read your post. Thanks again for your wise words!

Anonymous said...

Good advice.

Also, it's OK for trivial things to remain undone. If you get a choice between catching up on laundry and taking a nap, take the nap. Well-rested mommy = happy mommy = happy baby.

Amelie said...

Thanks for sharing! I like your Happy Mommy = Happy Baby theme!

The bean-mom said...

"It's okay to want to throw the baby out the window."

Laughing at that one, SM. I think we've all been there!

And "happy mommy makes a happy baby" is definitely on target!

microbiologist xx said...

Great post SM. I'm slightly behind ScienceGirl as I still have @ 9 weeks to go, and I've enjoyed reading all the stories and advice for her. I agree with SG, it is refreshing to read things about taking care of yourself sometimes instead of just getting lectured on what you must do when the baby comes.
Good luck Science Girl.

ScientistMother said...

Alyssa - thanks!

Anon1 - I don't know if I'm succeeding in the well balanced department, but I'm trying.

SG - No worries. Its hard to learn to put yourself first. I'm still learning to do that, but you have to maintain your sanity for you sake and your child

UnlikelyGrad - totally have to let go of the little things

Amelie - Glad you enjoyed

Bean-mom - been there!!! I think i'm still there! :))

MicroXX - I will repeat as required. Its something i'm told constantly but have trouble following. I'm hoping you gals are better than me.