Monday, April 21, 2008

I've come clean

As I mentioned in my introduction, I did not tell Mr. SM that I had started blogging...I know a very dangerous game to play with hubby. The problem was that I really feel an inner need to do this blogging thing and was not sure he would understand or appreciate it. Since I am already struggling so much with the being back in the lab and trying to excel, I really did not want to fight with him about the blog. I have only been blogging 1 short week and I've received comments and more importantly support. Its sounds cheesy but knowing that I can talk online about issues I find difficult to share is taking a burden off my shoulders, its enabling me to focus. So I didn't tell him because how was I supposed to deal with that inner need to express myself with the knowledge that doing so was making him unhappy? Not to sound like a stereotypical Indian woman from the 18th century, but I have an inner to need to make sure my husband is happy. In 7 years of marriage making me happy and making him happy were not two mutually exclusive options, choices that take in me exact opposing routes.

I am happy to say that I have once again underestimated Mr. SM - that man continues to surprise. This past week I have broached the topic of starting a blog and he was totally on board. He thinks its a great idea!!! Talk about putting me in shock. He even thinks that I should tell everyone I know about. You know I am not going to do that, but I will tell him that its been started. Which may mean that he will start reading it (yikes!), actually not a biggie because other then this blog I have no secrets from him.

So now that I have come clean with him, I must also come clean with you folks, the ones who take the time to read this rambling. I have been rambling. I wake up in the morning and I think about everything I want to say and I write it out and click publish. Just like I am about to do now. But that is not fair to you and it does not live up to the blogs the example that has been set for me by some amazing bloggers. Take for example yesterdays post by Backpacking Dad, what a thoughtful and insightful post. He obviously took time and effort to compose that essay. After todays post, I promise to do better. I will actually proofread, edit and come back to the post BEFORE clicking publish to ensure that my thoughts are articulated clearly to you folk in a coherent manner.

Happy Vaisaki to everyone!


Melanie said...

Happy Vaisaki to you too!

I'm very glad you came clean to Mr.SM about this blog. While it might occasionally limit what you can say (say, if you have a disagreement), it will probably be a much more freeing experience if you can share it with the guy you love.

Speaking of which, don't put yourself down for sounding like a stereotype. You don't :) Don't we all want to please our husbands, have them happy? Okay, well, I don't, but it's a lack of husband not a lack of wanting him to be happy. Heck, I want my son's dad to be happy ... just happy and far away from us! But anyway. Everyone wants those we love to be happy.

And if it's a choice between writing some eloquent essay that you get all worked up and stressed over, and writing a post that's genuine and from your heart ... go with your heart. I'd think you'll stick with writing longer. Right?

Oh - almost forgot. Sure, feel free to call me Mel. I never introduce myself as Mel, but friends shorten my name all the time, doesn't bother me at all.

The bean-mom said...


I followed you here from a comment on HerBadMother. I'm always interested in women-in-science, and particularly mother-in-science, blogs. You mention in your posts that you are looking for some support. Well, there is a lot out there! (at least online). There's a wonderful world of women-in-science blogs; google Scientiae Carnival for a link to most of them. The Happy Scientist (blogspot) also has a great set of links. Of course, I link to my favorites as well...

Anyway, good luck in your studies. Grad school and a baby is indeed quite an undertaking. However, at least some studies indicate that that is actually the best time (from an academic science career perspective) to have children. By the time you hit the supremely competitive make-or-break postdoc years your kids will be a bit older and not quite so time consuming...

Drugmonkey said...

Hey there SM,

Just found your blog. My advice is to not worry about meeting some standard for your blog post. Janet Stemwedel of Adventures in Ethics and Science made an observation awhile ago that too much thought about "standards" might "ruin the blogginess". This was in the context of fessing up to one's institution but the principle generalizes.

Follow your own muse. If you want to do really top notch formal posts, great. there's plenty of people who do that. If you want to spew out random stuff, poorly punctuated and unedited..great too.

presumably you are doing this because you want to get your thoughts out. anything that interferes with that is a BadThing. If making sure that every post is perfectly written inhibits posting, I'd say that's a negative.

For me, I have other venues for formal writing and it should be obvious that I don't obsess over the blog language or style (or, admittedly, even the logic at times).