Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Moving foward

How do you get over being angry and dis-appointed? Something has happened, the details of which I'm not sure I want to blog. Its save to say that I am really really angry and frustrated at the situation and as much as I'm trying not to do the blame game and the comparison game, its going on in my head.

I"m frustrated because I no longer know who's reading and I don't want to say anything that will bite me in the ass. Which is doubling frustrating because this was my venue to get advice and comfort. This blog was what go me through having to decide whether to quit science, find a new supervisor etc.

who / what do I turn to if I can't turn to my blog?
how do I just get it over the feelings and focus on what needs to be done?

15 comments:

Becca said...

Sent you an email. Wish I had a magic trick for getting rid of angry feelings- I'm grappling with some myself.

LabMom said...

You should connect with a fellow blogger and have them post a hypothetical post for you.

((hugs)) I hope you can get the feedback you are looking for.

Maggie May said...

that is rough. i've worried about who reads mine, too, but force myself to forget it.

Mrs.Spit said...

I don't have anything, other than I'm sorry

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you could scratch this one and start a new blog.

Alyssa said...

LabMom's idea is a good one - get someone to post an anonymous letter that others can respond too.

Sorry that you're going through something so frustrating, and that it's even more annoying that you can't post about it.

Anonymous said...

If you wake up in the morning and you have the ability to get out of bed, wash, and put on clean clothes, that's a start.

If you can't get yourself out of bed and prefer to wallow in your own filth, then you have a serious problem.

Maybe you can go to the counseling center at your school to hash things out with someone removed from the situation who is bound by confidentiality? These services are usually free or low cost ($10-$20), but if it is a question of having your life/career put on hold and being miserable, I think it would be money well spent if you must pay to speak with someone.

Let's just say I tried for a very long time to deal with things by myself, and I lost a lot of time feeling awful instead of going to a neutral, third party.

Anonymous said...

Anon again from a minute ago ---

I come from a culture (not the same as yours) where talking to a stranger about your problems is considered taboo, the "crazy" label is worse than "whore" or "gay," etc., etc.

Not that I'm making that assumption about your culture, but even when you grow up in the West, some things are ingrained in such a way that they are hard to shake off, even among the educated and the scientific-minded. Again, this is just based on my experience of my culture, not yours, which could very well be different.

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

First of all, I'm sorry you're having to go through this :(

Posting on someone else's blog seems like a good idea - but if you do it immediately, it might be a bit obvious. If this is time-sensitive, how about starting a separate password-protected blog and inviting people you trust to read it? It won't cost anything and you can always just delete the blog when you're done.

EcoGeoFemme said...

I know I"ve seen blogs with some posts individually password protected. Is that possible with Blogger? Alternatively, you could write a post and then send it in an email to your regular readers rather than publishing it.

I'm sorry that you're in a shitty spot and that you don't have a good safe place to deal with it.

chall said...

I'm sorry SM. You have my email if you want to write and vent a bit. That'd be totally ok with me!!

I've started drafting my blogposts and then some of them I end up not posting, but I do feel better just writing them... I guess it is because I structurilse my thoughts around more when I write. Before I used my diary, and I have thought about going back to it... although I like the blog since that gives me some chance of input from others. (Even if it might lead to evil people writing bad things, sometimes it's one of those things I like, that it is not "friend whom I meet everyday" but rather "friends/nice people I chose to read and like".

Anyway, I've stopped blogging about some more private things - but I'd love some advice on more than one occasion. Hm, come to think of it - maybe we should do a round robin where people post a "email post from someone" and then people can reposnd to that. Or, just email me and I'll put uo some posts where people are anonymous.....

(don't worry, I have written so many strange emotional posts so I'm sure a few more wouldn't make a difference).

Hope it gets better for you!! fast.

chall said...

and I didn't mean that your concern would be a strange emotional post. sorry. I'm not the most eloquent writer. (as you know) ^^

Girlpostdoc said...

Wow, I'm so sorry SM. I understand completely your need for a safe place. If you no longer find comfort in the public space, perhaps you could make your blog invite only? LabMom's suggestion is also a great idea. If you want to talk outside the bloggosphere, you have my email, please don't hesitate.
Many hugs.

ScientistMother said...

Thank you to everyone for your support. I have been able to vent IRL and get some perspective. Now and will post a simple summary. Mainly because I think its important for others to learn from my mistakes.

Girlpostdoc said...
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