Epiphanies come in the strangest ways

My Dad came by this evening to drop the monkey off and have dinner with me. We chatted about minor things and then the discussion went to my elder single brother. My parents are stressed about the whole singleness of him and his lack of desire to settle down, have children with a white picket fence. Thing is my brother is ambitious and as an ambitious individual myself I understand his frustration in relationships which I tried explaining to my dad. If you're ambitious and are dating / married to an ambitious individual it can be hard on a relationship because of the numerous competing interests. Exhibit A being being the mister and I.

I can honestly say that if Mr.SM and I did not get married when we did, we would not be together today. My interests would've taken me elsewhere, my focus on my career combined with his focus on his career and our social lives would've left little time for each other and I'm not sure that we would've stuck it through. I know that during my masters studies, it was such a relief not to have to make time to "date". I didn't have to worry about having to choose between partying with my friends and seeing my boyfriend. I was married and spent time with Mr.SM every morning and night. Sometimes we did our thing on own thing on the weekends, sometimes we didn't. As we've grown together, we've made comprises for each other. If I was single, but the same person I am now, I know I wouldn't make these compromises for someone today. I think my brother has been single for so long he's not willing to compromise. To which my dad suggested that my brother date someone less ambitious. My brother has tried this and tends to get into issues because his dating partner will be exasperated by his long hours. Its hard if you're the one sitting at home waiting for your partner to be done. Or having your plans cancelled because something at work came up. I get this too because Mr.SM is working 2 jobs and I get shafted. Which is when the epiphany came. My Dad, being the protective father he is, expressed frustration at how much Mr.SM works at the family business without monetary compensation. I had to explain to my dad how it is Mr.SM's dream to be able to grow his family's business to the point that him and his brothers can each pull out six figure salaries. The business is currently not big enough to do that and because I'm a graduate student, Mr.SM can not give up his day job to work full time at making his dream. He has to work to pay for our mortgage, daycare, monkeys extracurricular activities etc. Which is when it hit me. I get so frustrated that Mr.SM isn't home, isn't doing x,y or z at home but he's literally working 2 jobs so that I can go to graduate school and get my PhD.
That's pretty damn supportive. He's far from perfect and has an issue with putting his needs first all the time. But he's supporting me financially and emotionally which is pretty huge. Sometimes I need to be reminded of that.

Mental Break

I'm barely surviving right now. I have so much on my plate (conference abstract, personal finance deadlines, TAing, and comp prep) and Mr.SM still isn't around to provide support. I know its not his fault; he's had to start working shifts for his paying job because of a major event that is happening and his family business has a bunch of unplanned stuff going on. Which requires his time and attention so he no longer has the flexibility to take stuff off my plate like we had planned. I know its not his fault but I am angry that I can't depend on him. I'm not angry at him but the situation which we had no control of. And when the monkey refuses to nap or give me space
I get frustrated and angry that Mr.SM isn't here, which sometimes leads to me getting unnecessarily short with monkey. So I listened to a friend and gave monkey to my parents for the evening. I asked my crazy mom (who is talking to me normally after I showed up at the dinner and did a bunch work) to bring me dinner when the drop off the boy. I had tea, watched some tv and then read some papers and worked on corrections from the first draft of my research proposal. I feel less stressed and relaxed. I'm glad I listened to my friend. Thanks JV!

Its hard for me to ask for the help I need. I've always know my parents are willing to take monkey all day, but I miss him and don't want that. I only need a couple hours and someone to make me food. So I told my mom what I needed and said she needed to tell me if she was willing to help me the way I needed vs the way she wanted. She was and I appreciate it. Yes I told both my parents that I appreciate it.

My dad just called and said monkey keeps looking for me. I think they're realizing the boy doesn't like to be away from his mama to long :)

I'm not watching CBS anymore and I ask you to do the same

When I first heard about the CBS commercial controversy, I was annoyed to say the least. I was like WTF CBS? What were you thinking. And then I forgot about it. Yep I did. Like I have been doing for the last few months, I have avoided all drama. I do not have the time or brain power for it. But then I read my dear friend Mrs.Spits post. And I realized that I can not sit this one out.

Regardless of whether you agree with abortion or not, it not your place to tell someone else what to do. I, and everywoman, must have control over their own bodies. Some of us, like my dear friend, were put in an impossible position and we should not and can not judge.

Furthermore, spreading ignorance does no one any favours. Tebows mother was lucky, just like all those people who choose not to vaccinate their children against small pox are lucky. If I or another woman's life must be put at risk for the sake of a giving birth to a child, it must be my or that womans choice. Fullstop. I know women who have avoided cancer treatment to give their unborn child a fighting chance (mom died) and others who did not. For those who did not avoid treatment one had a happy for mom and babe and one was did not. Luck can be a bitch that way.

I love alot of CBS shows, from NCIS to the good wife. They are part of PVR presets. They have been taken off. I can't support a network that doesn't support my rights. I hope you'll do the same.

Annoyed

Left my laptop in the lab as I knew I didn't "need it" tonight as I'm prepping for TAing. Wanted to check my email before bed but my mail program on my iPhone is not working. Apparently I have >10 new messages but everytime I open up mail, up comes a black screen. Urgh!!!!! Am restarting my phone now. Wish mr luck!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Peepee's, weewee's and penises

Overheard in the SM household:
"Mommy where's my penis"
"In your underwear"
"Where is your penis"
"I don't have one"
"Why"
"Girls don't have them"
"Does daddy have one?"
"Yes"
"Does female cousin have one?"
*******
I haven't actually used anatomically correct terms with monkey, I don't agree with using them at this age. I'm perfectly comfortable with refering to monkeys penis as his peepee. Unfortunately, I have to give up control about things such as this. ECE are not allowed to use slang. In sense I agree with that ad I wouldn't want someone referring to it as the one eyed snake or something silly. But can't peepee's just be peepee's?

****
I am so going to start getting wacked out search terms.

I dislike my mom

I do. I love her because she is my mom, but like my sister, she has so many traits that I jus don't like. If she weren't my mom, I wouldn't deal with her.

In Indian culture, when a couple gets married, all the extended family invite the couple to dinner to as a way of welcoming and getting to know the new bride. My parents are therefore inviting my BIL and his wife for dinner, along with the inlaws. I found out because my MIL called to me to find out if the date was OK.

My mother is currently not speaking to me because I was rude for telling her to MYOB on an issue with my sis. So what should I have said to my MIL. Most normal mothers would call their daughters to find out her availability prior to making the formal invite if the daughters presence was wanted.

I didn't want to broadcast omy mothers disagreement with me so I told my mil the date was fine. I am indian so I've been bred to save face.

Now my father has sheepishly called to ensure I will be there. I hate that she sticks him in the middle. It is so sad.

For all the future skiing graduate students

I do not recommend trying to read a journal article with Papers (or writing a thesis proposal) after a day of skiing, sitting in a hot tub drinking >1 beer and / or drinking 3+ beer while trying to read said paper.

Just saying, it might be best to leave the doing science while drinking to either to the PI's or limited to just drinking and science. Not skiing, hot tub, alcohol + science.

It might be too much for you newbies.

For me? Not so much. I've survived a car wreck on the way up to our ski vacation (we're all OK), child birth and watching my 3 year old become fearless in the snow. Booze and science don't scare me.


**** this may be poorly written due to consumption of >1 beer