Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Thank you.

I have always thought the best part of blogging, for me at least, was the comment threads. The conversations I have with my readers. The evolution of an idea through written comments.

Last week, I realized it was the support. The understanding. The empathy.

Grandfather SM passed away this past week. It sucked hard being the only with no hope. It sucked hard being the one to have to say, no really nothing can be done. No really he won't be going home. It sucked hard to realize that no matter how much I prepped myself, I wasn't really ready for him to die. No matter how much I knew it was/is better for him, I still want him here. For myself, my husband, my child, my family.

Since his death, life has been an non-stop go go go. Punjabi/Indian grieving customs are 1 part brilliant and 1 part crazy. Its been moments of sweet memories, interwined with crazy old ladies making me want to poke my eyes with a pencil, and its been less then 4 days.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their well wishes and expressions of sympathy. It really really has been a source of strength to check my email and see your support and encouragement. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

18 comments:

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

(((ScientistMother)))

Hang in there...

Alyssa said...

I'm so sorry, SM :( Sending you and your family lots of positive thoughts and hugs.

chall said...

I'm so sorry SM. I hope you can find support and comfort in each other now!

((hugs))

Isis the Scientist said...

So, so sorry SM. We'll keep the SM family in our thoughts

LabMom said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. :(

Anonymous said...

Through this episode, your child, although quite young, has already witnessed first hand from his mother the virtues of compassion, dignity, and respect. Because all of these start from home. You've conducted yourself honorably and done right by grandfather in his last hours.

I know that may not comfort you a whole lot, but I thought it would be worth mentioning.

Amanda@Lady Scientist said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Lots of hugs your way. I'll keep the SM family in my thoughts.

Caro said...

So sorry for your loss

JaneB said...

((((ScientistMother))))

Hope you cope well with your family and rituals. thinking of you...

Anonymous said...

Here's a wee bit of support from a brand new reader, who found you through Dr. Isis today.

I come from a crazy-long-ritual-funeral background as well, and have had to be an "interpreter" of bad news to loved ones. Both are emotionally draining, and I hope you will take a moment to take care of yourself throughout the process.

All the best to you and your family...

ACM

biochem belle said...

((hugs)) I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, SM. Sending you thoughts of warmth and strength to get through this exhausting space.

The bean-mom said...

So very very sorry for your loss, SM. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Zuska said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We want to keep the beloved elders with us forever. I just recently lost an uncle - the funeral rituals seem crazy at times but they help us make it through those first extremely hard days/daze. I hope you and your family can find comfort with each other and in your memories of your grandfather.

Girlpostdoc said...

I totally know what you mean SM about South Asian funerals - 1/2 crazy 1/2 brilliant. I think its totally true for all rituals in our culture. Having gone through oh too many times, I remember that it was exhausting. Take some time for yourself.

unlikelygrad said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

For sanity's sake, try to find someone outside of your family who will lend you a shoulder to cry on.

microbiologist xx said...

(((Hugs)))
I'm sorry to read about your loss. I hope your family is doing well and please don't poke out your eyes.

Arlenna said...

SM, I am so sorry I missed the original post. You are such a strong woman, your family is lucky to have you.

Prof-like Substance said...

Losing anyone is never easy and being the one to have to explain can be excruciating. Will be thinking of you.