My grandfather is dying. He will probably pass in today as they've stopped all meds, except the painkillers.
Although we knew he was getting weak and hadn't recovered fully from a bout of pneumonia last winter. We figured the warm summer months would keep him healthy over the summer, but that he would probably succumb to an infection during the cold and flu season of the winter months.
Then he collapsed. I spent all day at the local small hospital, advocating on his behalf (did I ever remember Zuska's many posts on trying deal with her moms many doctors). We were told that Grandpa SM had issue x that could be solved with surgery, but the surgery was risky. He would die without surgery and the surgery was 20x riskier. We were told he had a 20-30% chance of death, so of course we said do the surgery.
He was transferred to the major trauma center and we were told that he wouldn't survive surgery. I understood everything. All the medical jargon, I could listen in on their conversations and knew how dire the situation was.
And I have to communicate that to my husband and my in laws. How do you tell someone their father/grandfather is going to die and they must choose how he will die. With dignity and peace or trying every last measure to save him? How do you tell someone who hours before you assured that their father/grandfather would be ok with time is not going to be?
I am the only person who did biology. Out of my inlaws, only mr. Sm and I have gone to university. When I tell them that organ x has perforated, they don't understand what that means in terms of the poison running into Grandpa's body. They look at mr with hope on their eyes saying, but SM it will heal right? Right.
I know what is happening to my grandfather. I knew there was no hope. And I have to tell that.
17 hours ago