Just so you know. He claims he was being cheeky, testing my resolve. I don't believe him. I love Mr.SM and I know that he loves me. But he is selfish. He is not the type to think to himself "Mrs.SM is struggling and I should pick up the slack" or "Mrs. SM is stressing to get her thesis written so I will go buy groceries and make dinner". He will think to himself the mrs is stressed so I'll be a goofball or I will go grocery shopping with her, to ensure she laughs etc. When I finally speak up and say that he is putting me last, he will disagree, provide evidence to the contrary and basically refuse to admit that I spoke the truth.
Then he will re-adjust and change his behaviour.
Why he can not admit that he is wrong I haven't a clue. I have learned to stop asking for validation from him (having him say I am right and he was wrong). I am still learning to vocalize my needs. It is not something I am good at. Its the Indian upbringing that I have railed against my entire life, but yet I still suck it up and put everyone else before me. I will learn to put myself first. The first step was recognizing that I do love the science and I will do my PhD. The second is letting the mister know. The third will be vocalizing on a regular basis and asking for help. The last part is hard too. Being the youngest I always had to prove I could do it on my own. I am not 15 anymore. I can ask for help. It is ok to ask for help.
2 days ago