Because apparently mine did not register the hallway wall that has been in the exact same spot for hmmm, 55+ years this house has been standing. Which led me to smash me little toe into the corner of the wall, as I ran into my room to show Mr.SM the Shoe Fairy's gift. I smashed it so bad that I think I actually broke the 4th & 5th toes. They have been swollen since last night, I can not bend them, touch them or put any pressure without feeling intense pain. Now they are also purple. Do you know how hard it is to turn brown skin purple?
Remember those boots, they were made for walking but they will be sitting in my closet. Do you know what is worse then limping around school all day b/c you're a moron that can not see where they are going, despite having apparently functional eyes. Having to explain that no you are not limping because you sprained your ankle, knee, have sore muscles. Nope you're limping because you can not apparently walk and do something else (like think) at the same time.
The icing on the cake is having your son run excitedly to you, grab your legs and jump to give you a hug. Only his >26lbs lands on the busted toe. Are you supposed push your son away and scream in pain? Nope you swallow hard, hug the boy and tell you love him too. You somehow do not yell out the FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK that is searing through your toe and screaming in your head. Good times people good times.
PiT can you share some Doritos?
3 days ago