Friday, December 31, 2010

Happily Saying Goodbye

To 2010, not the blog sillies :)

This is an odd new years eve for me. Normally, I lament the passing year remembering the good times, surprised how quickly its gone and what I didn't get done.  Analyzing my regrets and working out resolutions for the new year. This year. I am happy to be done with 2010.  Despite some good times (The winter olympics, passing my comps), 2010 was one of the worst years I have experienced.  It started off by totaling our vehicle on our way up to our regular ski mountain holiday. And not from a rear-ender or crashing into a snow bank, but a full on roll over. My poor little monkey replayed that scene with his trucks over and over and over.  Thank God for the movie Cars, which introduced him to the concept of tow trucks and tow yards as that was the only way to calm him down.
After that hubby quit his well paying awesome benefits but completely non-mentally challenging job to work for the family business, which ended in disaster.  Him and one of his siblings had a huge blow out that may or may not be repairable. The only good thing that came out of it is that Mr.SM has stopped putting his career on hold in the hopes of making the business work as a career.  He found another job, but the months that he was only working for his family were extremely stressful and were right when I was studying for my comprehensives. Talk about recipe for bad things.

Well I"m sure you know what happened, my comps got delayed. I was unhappy and angry and Mr.SM was frustrated about his inability to find another job. Stressed out about finances etc. Not exactly a match made in heaven. In the middle of all this, our beloved grandpa got sick and passed on.  I shouldn't laugh but looking back, I think shit really. We were not emotionally equipped to handle that stress and it showed. Our communication was zero. We were both isolated in our pain at losing out grandfather, we didn't know how to cope my child kept asking questions. Then we lost another grandfather and there I was the week before my comps burying yet another grandparent. Yes it put the comps in perspective but that doesn't help with the heartache.  Nor did it help with the isolation that both of us were feeling, actually I was feeling.

Right before my comps we had a huge blow up / discussion about what was going on. Mr. SM was figuring that it was all normal considering what was going on and I was considering walking out. What a difference in view points.  The thing was, our issues weren't a lack of love but a lack of communication. Which we're continually working on.

The only good thing that has happened this year is that Mr.SM is home more, which is its own adjustment and well we're attempting to repeat our experiments. So here's to 2011 being much more joyful :)


Stephanie Zvan said...

Ugh. Blech. Yuck.

May 2011 treat you and yours much, much better.

The bean-mom said...

What a year.

Here's to 2011 being much much better. Happy New Year!

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

Wow, yeah, I bet you'll be one of the happiest people I know when midnight rolls around. I hope 2011 is a vast improvement for all four of you!

(2010 was good to me, but 2009 sucked - nothing like as bad as what you've been through, but bad things (divorces, flooded apartments, sick parents, broken bones) kept happening to people I love. I hope it's not an alternating years kinda deal).

Fia said...

Things can only get better from now on. Happy new year!

Alyssa said...

What a crappy year for you guys. Here's hoping 2011 is MUCH better!

FrauTech said...

I also am happy to put 2010 behind me, though it's been nothing like your year. Here's to hoping 2011 is a year for better perspectives and better opportunities.

chall said...

oh... yeah... Safe to say I hope 2011 gets much much better! I am happy you passed your comps and that you can see some good things in a year with lots of bad things.

and communication, that's really hard. Especially when you love someone and feel hurt at the same time. Sometimes it is easier to have a third person in the room "interpreting" what you say - than again, sometimes all you need is knowing that you need to listen and express what you think/feel....

Best of feelings and happy new years!

microbiologist xx said...

Here we are at 7 days in. I hope it's been good so far! Happy New Year (belated since I can't get my shit together.)